BRAZILIAN BRIGADIER (BRIGADEIRO RECIPE)

Hello, Dear Gringo!

We have recently came across with some friends overseas that wanted a recipe for Brigadeiro, or Brazilian Brigadier, as we just decided to call it.

Last year the Brazilian Brigadier made headlines as this guy, Jamie Oliver, you might have heard of him,  said that it was, and I quote, "fucking shit!".

"I know what you are, but am I?"

...said the guy from a country whose greatest culinary achievement is Fish and Chips. Man, talking trash about Brazilian Brigadier just ain't right. You can't come in here, go to our beaches, drink our caipirinhas and our shitty beer, pretend you can dance samba, and say that about the most important and cherished childhood sweet of the Brazilian People. It's like someone said "You know Jamie Oliver's Mom? She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her". That's just bad manners. We don't go in the UK trash talking Harry Potter. We like Harry Potter. We don't write bad things about The Beatles. We also like the Beatles. Better than Molejo, even.

Despite strong arguments to the contraire.

And even your shameful things, like Robbie Williams and Russel Brand get a pass with us. Because manners. See Jamie? We are Brazilians, and we are polite, unlike you. In the immortal words of the Prime Minister Hugh Grant, "I fear that this has become a bad relationship".

We are pretty sure the only reason Jamie was not kicked out of the country is because his programs compose something like 63.49% of the GNT cable network schedule. Seriously, he is in there like every fucking time. And we watch that shit. Because we liked him. And he stabbed us in the back. Right to our faces (What?).

But most visitors are not so rude as Mr. Oliver.  We have a lot of Gringo Friends that came to Brazil and fell in love with the Brazilian Brigadier. To those friends, here goes a simple recipe so you can kill a little bit of the saudade you have from Brazil. And fuck you, Jamie Oliver. Right in your ear. (I'm sorry, I know you are nice guy, can you send us an autograph?)

Serves: 6 after a dinner or 1 woman in PMS

Prep Time: 10 minutes in the stove, 1 unending hour to cool down and 45 minutes if you decide to roll it in nice little chocolate balls.

Ingredients:

- 1 (395g) can of sweetened condensed milk

- 1 tablespoon of butter or margarine

- 3 tablespoons of cocoa powder or chocolate nesquik (that option makes it sweeter than it already is) 

- Chocolate sprinkles to decorate

How to prepare it:

Mix all ingredients (except the chocolate sprinkles) in a pan. Cook over medium heat and stir continuously making sure all the cocoa powder is dissolved. The Brigadier will be ready when it becomes thick (so you can see the bottom of the pan as you stir).

Now you decide what way you will take:

1^st option: technically it is ready to eat with a spoon straight from the pan (and probably burn your tongue);

The Brazilian Way.

2^nd option: you can pour the mixture in a lightly greased dish and let it cool to room temperature. If you are on a hurry you can always speed up in the fridge or even freezer, but I suggest you do not forget it in there, and then you can eat with a spoon with or without the sprinkles;

If a Brazilian is eating like this, he is trying to impress someone.
Otherwise, he would go for the first option. 

3^rd option: do the second option and, when it gets cool enough to handle it, take small amounts of the mixture with a teaspoon and make balls. Fill a plate with chocolate sprinkles and roll the balls in it to decorate.

Children's party mode. Tastes like childhood. 

4^th option: which is the modern solution. Take it off the stove a little sooner, so it is less thick, then pour in small acrylic cups with a tiny little spoon.

Fancy "adult" party mode. Popular in Brazilian Weddings (for realz!).

And now, to close the arguments against Jamie "why don't they eat healthy" Oliver, Jout Jout:

* * *

Para brasileiros, que não precisam de receita de brigadeiro porque já vem em seu DNA, uma dica sem lactose e sem alterar o sabor (e sem apelar para porcarias como biomassa de banana verde, soja ou leite condensado de aveia) é o leite condensado sem lactose da Piracanjuba. Te juro, é o mesmo gosto que o original, de verdade, e não estão nos pagando para dizer isso.  Custa o dobro do normal, o que não faz o menor sentido, considerando que não vem nem lactose nele. Se tem menos coisa, devia custar menos, né?!